Get Out of the Norm

THANK YOU PRESIDENT BUSH FOR KEEPING US SAFE! 

This is my least favorite topic because it is always my biggest challenge! My dad died a month ago. He was gone for a long time before he left. His demise was slow but in the last few years he just was not himself. It was a blessing that he left because it was past time.

I have done so much work in therapy and with God I thought for sure I had come to terms with my relationship to my father. I was surprised to find out how angry I was at him after he left.

My dad was my big person. I hung on his words as a child, wanted him to approve of me, took his standards on as my own, believed his words and character and he has been a lasting voice in my head. My dad left our family after 25 years and got re-married. Something he said Catholics don’t do nor would he ever do. Although my parents marriage was a mess, children never want to see their parents split. It wasn’t so much dad leaving but when he walked out the door he shut it on all of us. He got re-married to a woman who was younger. She was immature and jealous and did not bring a nurturing or welcoming presence to his children. It is a long and complicated story but to be in his life I had to make adjustments.

I did confront dad on everything over the years. As we know, I am not one to hide or quiet the words. The problem was I never got what I wanted nor the closure I needed. Dad had a spirit of pride and could never say he was sorry. Since I used to have that same problem, I should understand it. My head does but my heart and the little child inside doesn’t.

I have been mad and sad, to quote my favorite character Sooki, I have been smad! I know I have to let go, forgive and move forward. Maybe part of letting go means he really is gone.

There are many lessons to be learned here. The most important is don’t let pride get in your way. If you refuse to be responsible for your actions, you leave a trail of unfinished business. Once you start saying your sorry, you realize how easy it is to do. Don’t comprimise relationships for one person. My dad gave up a lot to be with his second wife. Although he chose to do it, I believe she was an instigator in that process. If you are so insecure that you have to separate someone from those they love, you should get into therapy or a prayer chair. Don’t let ego emotions run your life, RISE UP HIGHER! All God needs to hear is HELP!

Appreciate those in your life even the ones that are difficult. God puts people in our lives for a reason or a season. Sometimes people are in our lives for the whole show and sometimes they are just in it for the preview. Marriages don’t always work that is not the tragedy. It becomes a tragedy when you shut the door on those you love or create an ugly sceniro with your soon to be X. There is no reason not to be civil you must remember at one time you loved each other.

In the end, the true story of you is what you leave behind. Do you leave behind a group of people that felt loved, appreciated, heard and included or do you leave behind a group of people that are hurting, lost and conflicted?

Today is a new day. Change what isn’t working and make it right. Change isn’t easy but The Trinity is just a holler away.

Blessings, Lenny

At least three different Saint Valentines, all of them martyrs, are mentioned in the early martyrologies under date of 14 February. One is described as a priest at Rome, another as bishop of Interamna (modern Terni), and these two seem both to have suffered in the second half of the third century and to have been buried on the Flaminian Way, but at different distances from the city. In William of Malmesbury’s time what was known to the ancients as the Flaminian Gate of Rome and is now the Porta del Popolo, was called the Gate of St. Valentine. The name seems to have been taken from a small church dedicated to the saint which was in the immediate neighborhood. Of both these St. Valentines some sort of Acta are preserved but they are of relatively late date and of no historical value. Of the third Saint Valentine, who suffered in Africa with a number of companions, nothing further is known.

Saint Valentine’s Day

The popular customs associated with Saint Valentine’s Day undoubtedly had their origin in a conventional belief generally received in England and France during the Middle Ages, that on 14 February, i.e. half way through the second month of the year, the birds began to pair. Thus in Chaucer’s Parliament of Foules we read:

For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day
Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate.

For this reason the day was looked upon as specially consecrated to lovers and as a proper occasion for writing love letters and sending lovers’ tokens. Both the French and English literatures of the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries contain allusions to the practice. Perhaps the earliest to be found is in the 34th and 35th Ballades of the bilingual poet, John Gower, written in French; but Lydgate and Clauvowe supply other examples. Those who chose each other under these circumstances seem to have been called by each other their Valentines. In the Paston Letters, Dame Elizabeth Brews writes thus about a match she hopes to make for her daughter (we modernize the spelling), addressing the favoured suitor:

And, cousin mine, upon Monday is Saint Valentine’s Day and every bird chooses himself a mate, and if it like you to come on Thursday night, and make provision that you may abide till then, I trust to God that ye shall speak to my husband and I shall pray that we may bring the matter to a conclusion.

Shortly after the young lady herself wrote a letter to the same man addressing it “Unto my rightwell beloved Valentine, John Paston Esquire”. The custom of choosing and sending valentines has of late years fallen into comparative desuetude.

Publication information

Written by Herbert Thurston. Transcribed by Paul Knutsen. The Catholic Encyclopedia, Volume XV. Published 1912. New York: Robert Appleton Company

Well, the pretty snow has turned into wet and fog. I call it slog! It is going to rain for the next several days. At least, it will get us out of our drought. I miss the snow it was so pretty and looked good against the Christmas lights.

We walked our pups last night and a dog from another home charged my babies. He would not listen to his master and kept circling around trying to get in a fight with my pups. It was scary and I had never seen that type of dog before. I finally had to throw my bottle of water at him as he took a bite of Tully. The master was standing right there and could do nothing about it.

I am a dog person. I have always owned dogs but we must be responsible pet owners. This dog was aggressive and mean. He must be contained. Yet they have no fence or have him on a lead. Even when our furry balls are just wagging their tails and running up to others, we need to be able to have some form of control. It was really scary. I know once a dog fight starts it is hard to dampen it. So, to all animal lovers and owners keep your dogs leashed or in a contained area. It is as much for their safety as it is for passers by!

Blessings, Lenny